DNF: Love & Gelato

I made it to Chapter 10 of Love & Gelato by Jenna Evans Welch before I had to put it away because I wasn’t enjoying it. The writing was poor and the characters were bland. Here, I’ve compiled a list of lines in this book that either made me laugh or just left me completely confused, sometimes both.

-He sounded American, but he looked about as Italian as a plate of meatballs. (59) 

-“Okay. I can pick you up on my scooter. Around eight?” (78) 

  • This really is only funny because in my mind, I was picturing Ren picking up Lina in one of these.

scooter-1605608_1280

-…excitement started building up in me like steam in a pressure cooker. (80) 

-So…apparently my father spoke Italian. Fluently. (83) 

  • Well, he has been living in Italy for 16+ years.

-He honestly had a dreamy look in his eyes. Did my more-than-a-friend love for food come from him? (84) 

-My cheeks were boiling like a pot of marinara sauce. (87) 

  • Now I’m just hungry.

-He met my eyes, and suddenly I wished with all my heart that I could evaporate, like the steam still curling off my pizza. (90) 

  • If giving inanimate objects feelings is personification, what is called when you reduce a person to an object…and can we not do that.

– A straight-up monsoon was happening in the general vicinity of my face, and the words kept running together in a big, blurry mess. (96) 

  • She was crying. Just say you’re crying.

-“Isn’t it like two a.m. there? (102) 

  • So you knew this, yet you still thought Addie would answer your call?

-“Elena told me there are rooms that she’s never even set foot in, and she and her mom sometimes go days without even seeing each other.”  (114) 

  • This is concerning and definitely should not happen, no matter how big your house is.

-They started raining questions. (117) 

“Ragazzi, dai. My mom will freak out if she finds out you are up here. I had a forty-five minute lecture after the last party. Some idiota left a piece of pizza on the two-hundred-year-old credenza. Come downstairs, per favore!” (124) 

  • Because we’re in Italy. With Italians. In case you forgot.

-“Ren, come on. We’re an hour late. What’s he going to do?” (131) 

  • Lina does what she wants and has no regard for authority.

Check out my full review on Goodreads. Are you confused by any of these lines or is there some philosophical reasoning behind these quotes that is beyond my comprehension?